Bill MacKenty

Playfulness and teenagers

I've never been especially good at this. But I've learned that being playful (in the right way) with students yields impressive benefits

For most of my career, I held a foundational belief about teaching: if students feel safe and supported, they’re in the best possible position to learn. I credit Ms. Monika, a kindergarten teacher who taught me that when a student is "happy and safe" they learn best.

After 26 years, that belief still holds. In fact, it's backed by a substantial body of research. When students feel unsafe; socially, emotionally, or intellectually, their brains shift into a kind of defensive mode. Attention narrows, working memory drops, and learning becomes harder. No safety, no learning.

But this year, I’ve started to notice something that complicates the picture in an interesting way. Teachers I work with and trust screw around with their kids - and the teens love it.

Some of the most engaging classrooms (the ones where students lean in, participate, and actually seem alive) aren’t just safe. They’re playful. There’s a bit of teasing. A bit of back-and-forth. A sense that the teacher is willing to mess around with students in a light, controlled way.

My meat-and-potatoes perspective: teenagers seem to respond really well when the classroom isn’t just safe, but socially dynamic. At first glance, that can feel counterintuitive. We spend so much time trying to create calm, respectful environments that introducing teasing sounds like a step backward. But when you look more closely at what’s happening, it starts to make sense.

Safety is the floor, not the ceiling

What I've noticed is that a classroom can be perfectly safe and still feel flat. Students aren’t anxious. They’re not worried about being embarrassed. But they’re also not particularly engaged. They’re compliant, not curious. Present, but not invested. What playful interaction adds is energy.

Teasing done well introduces a small amount of social tension. Not enough to threaten, but enough to wake people up. It creates a moment of unpredictability. A break from the script. And when students respond with laughter, what they’re really saying is: this is safe enough for me to take a risk. What I know about brains and learning is when a brain is challenged or makes a mistake it is primed for learning (more on that in a bit).

That’s a different kind of safety. It’s not just "nothing bad will happen." It’s "something interesting might happen, and I can handle it."

The brain likes a little bit of mischief

There’s also a cognitive piece here. Playful interaction triggers curiosity and mild excitement. You get a small dopamine hit (not the overwhelming kind associated with social media), but enough to sharpen attention and help with memory. If you introduce a concept in a completely predictable way, students can drift. But if you wrap it in humor, exaggeration, or a bit of playful challenge, suddenly they’re tracking you more closely. They’re not just hearing the content—they’re experiencing it. And that experience makes it stick.

Teasing quietly reshapes the relationship

There’s also a social dynamic at play that’s easy to miss. Teenagers are extremely sensitive to status. They’re constantly reading the room, figuring out who holds power, who belongs, and where they fit. In a traditional classroom, the hierarchy is obvious: the teacher holds authority, students follow. Playfulness softens that without removing it. When you tease a student gently, or let them tease you back, you’re signalling something important: I’m still in charge, but I’m also human. You’re creating a space where interaction feels more natural and less scripted. And here’s the key: students tend to engage more with teachers who feel socially real.

Don't be stupid

Of course, this only works if it’s done carefully. There’s a world of difference between playful teasing and something that feels personal or cutting. Teenagers are astute at detecting that difference.

A few guardrails help keep things on track

1. Never target identity. Intelligence, appearance, background—those are off-limits.
2. Aim at behaviors, not the person. “You and your 20-line variable names strike again” lands very differently than “you’re confusing.”
3. Be mindful of who you’re teasing. Confident, socially secure students can usually handle it. Quieter or more anxious students may not.
4. Make sure the underlying message is always positive. Students should feel that you like them and are on their side.

Why teenagers, specifically?

Teenagers are awesomely weird

Students at this age are wired for social interaction. They care deeply about how they’re perceived. At the same time, they’re developing independence and testing boundaries. Playful classrooms align with that reality. They feel less like rigid systems and more like living environments. There’s room to interact. Room to respond. Room to exist as a person, not just a student.

That doesn’t reduce rigor. If anything, it supports it. Students are more willing to take intellectual risks in a space that already allows small social ones.

Finding the balance

The goal isn’t to turn the classroom into a comedy club. Too much play, and things lose structure quickly. Too little, and everything feels sterile.

I think the keys should include: safestructured (but not rigid), playful (but not chaotic). A useful check is this: if a student is struggling, would they still feel comfortable asking you for help? If the answer is yes, you’re probably in the right zone.

The bigger idea

What's interesting here is that some of the best teaching doesn’t look like teaching at all. It looks like a group of people interacting naturally, with just enough structure to keep things moving forward. That feeling, of being present, engaged, slightly off-script; that’s where attention lives.And attention, more than anything else, is the gateway to learning.

Teasing, having fun, being playful with teens isn’t a replacement for good teaching. But used well, it might be one of the most effective tools we have for making learning actually happen.